Save Me
by light is in the dark
Summary: After hearing upsetting things about her, Starfire decides to rid of the pain in a dangerous way that seems like the only solution. Can someone save her from herself or will it result in the loss of a Teen Titan? Rating may change but there will be violence.
1. Chapter 1- Pleasure

**Chapter 1**

**Pleasure**

* * *

**Normal POV**

_"What a freak." _

_"I know right? I can't believe she thinks she's actually pretty." _

_"Exactly! I mean, come on, look at her skin. It's orange and I'm positive she dyed her hair like that. Did you see her eyebrows?" _

_"Everything about her is hideous looking, and as if it's not enough, she's fat." _

_"Poor thing. If it was me, and I'm so happy it's not, I would just kill myself." _

"Am I hideous looking?" Starfire asked herself meanwhile looking in the mirror in her room. She was modest about it but she always thought she was pretty. But now, she was unsure.

It all started when she had to go to the grocery store and get more food for the Titans and other necessities. When looking for a specific item on her imaginary list, two jealous teenage girls were talking a few feet away from Starfire thinking that they were out of hearing range. She saw the two girls off of the corner of her eyes and acted like she couldn't hear them but picked up on what they were saying. They started talking about her, saying things that were untrue, and somehow Starfire endured it all. She believed they were experts on earth girls since they were from here so if they were calling her ugly and fat, then it must have been true.

Multiple times Starfire heard from other people in the city saying she was beautiful but now that the two teenagers claimed she wasn't, Starfire assumed that the citizens were merely lying to her and trying to be nice. What would she prefer: a beautiful lie or the ugly truth? Either way, it would be painful and she would just have to accept it for what it was. Who could ever love an unattractive person like me? Robin surely couldn't, wouldn't, and doesn't. Starfire kept filling her mind with these untrue thoughts and the more she thought about it, the more it became true to her. Without thinking of the consequences, Starfire punched her mirror leaving multiple shards on the floor. She grabbed one carefully but took a minute to examine to sharpness of the piece. She knew exactly what she was would do with something this sharp and dangerous.

"If I do this, then how will I hide the scars? What would my friends say if they realized what I may do? Would they care or act as though nothing happened?" Starfire thought outloud meanwhile her grip on the glass tightened. Meanwhile she was pondering this, the small shard was cutting itself into her hand drawing blood.

"Perhaps I shall not do it today." Starfire walked over to her desk and pulled out the bottom drawer. But as she placed the glass in the drawer, she noticed all the blood dripping from her now scarred hand and almost yelled before placing her free hand over her mouth. Did I truly do this to myself? Eyes wide with shock, Starfire slowly backed away from the desk and to her small bathroom. Entering the room, she closed the door and examined her hand. Another person may have been scared and regretted this inactive decision but for some unknown reason, Starfire didn't. As a matter of fact, it **pleased** her.

Before she could think about doing it again, the alarm sounded making Starfire quickly rinse her hands of the blood and putting a few bandages on the long cut. Perhaps no one will notice. She then flew away to the ops room to see who or what caused the trouble this time.

"What's the trouble Rob?" Questioned Cyborg meanwhile running towards the main computer where Robin was typing.

Robin paused and only muttered one word so it was silent but loud enough so the rest of the team heard what he said. That one word sent chills down every one of their spines and brought back memories that they wished to forget. "Slade." Robin felt his eyes narrow behind his mask and tried to keep his calm for the sake of his team. The last time he only thought about taking down Slade, he ended up hurting Starfire which was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

"Uh, where?" Beastboy couldn't help but keep the worry and slight fear in his voice since he knew what this madman did to Robin and what could happen.

"Abandoned warehouse, 68th avenue. Titans. Go!" After that one command, the entire team left without hesitation in the direction to stop the villain.

* * *

Once they got there, Starfire had a feeling that this wouldn't turn out so good. Something inside of her told her that this battle would change her, and everyone else. Starfire wasn't able to continue her thoughts however when she faintly heard a voice calling out her name. It sounded familiar so she turned to the direction of the voice and came to realization what they were supposed to be doing.

"Starfire! Pay attention!" Starfire nodded her head and tried not to be upset Robin further.

"I am sorry. Please continue."

As Robin explained the plan and what to do and what not to do, Starfire's mind continued thinking about what could change everyone on her team. _It may not be that important. Pay attention Koriand'r. _Shaking her from her thoughts once again, Starfire luckily heard the part in which she would participate in which was always the same. Don't attack Slade, just any obstacles in Robin's way from fighting Slade. She had no idea why he was so important to Robin but everyone knew they shouldn't ask. It was somewhat a delicate subject for him, just as his past and Batman.

"Remember what I said and obey it. Let's go." Determination and what he made out to be almost a threat was heard in Robin's voice. He started the walk into the warehouse and used his miniature flashlight to help guide himself throughout the corridors. Although Starfire's starbolts and Cyborg's light from his shoulder provided a way to see, Robin felt as though he had to use his own weapons and tools. When it came to Slade, he felt like this was a war he had to fight on his own. Truthfully, Robin had no idea why he was so stern and not himself whenever Slade was in the picture. Maybe it was because he felt like he had to make the villain pay for what he did to himself and the team. Whether he helped them or not, Robin could feel that none of them wanted anything to do with Slade.

"He's here. Looks like he's past this door." Cyborg pointed out and that was when Robin became angry at himself for getting lost in his thoughts. He also knew that the madman was behind the double doors that were a few yards in front of him. _Let's hope that today is the day where we can end this. Once and for all._ Robin turned around to see if the team was ready for the battle that was coming in a few moments. Once they all gave a nod of approval, Robin faced the doors once again, took a small breath, and entered.

Preparing for a fierce battle that was soon to come, Raven scanned her eyes across the room to see what she could use as weapons. There were a few broken pipes, shards of glass that appeared to be just about everywhere and a large amount of wooden crates. Just as she was about to look for anything else to use, a dead panned voice filled the room.

"Nice to see you once again Robin." Her hands illuminating with darkness, Raven searched where Slade could be. But a yell from Robin telling Slade to show himself brought a sudden surge of emotions that, not surprisingly, came from the leader himself. Hate, determination, and revenge clouded the young man's mind which the empath had actually grown accustomed to. Raven didn't know what made him act like the way he did when it had to deal with Slade but she and the rest of the team didn't like it.

Appearing a few yards in front of Robin, he let out a frightening laugh which seemed to anger the Boy Wonder furthermore. As everyone got out their weapon of choice, Cyborg using his cannon, Beastboy turning into a lion, Starfire lighting her hands with starbolts, Raven mentally prepared herself for anything that could happen to anyone there. Robin didn't seem to take out his staff, bird-a-rangs, or smoke bombs yet but his fingers were slightly twitching with anticipation.

Before Robin could say anything to Slade, about one hundred Sladebots surrounded the team making them feel a little uneasy. Robin however, felt impatient and wanted to hurt someone so badly. He made an oath to Batman to not kill anyone but seriously injuring someone wasn't part of that promise. As long as it was for the greater good then he assumed it would be okay.

Once a robot moved towards them, Robin started the battle. Using his staff to jam into the machines in his way of the prize, he quickly cleared the way and soon enough was face to face with the criminal mastermind. The other Titans were a different story.

Beastboy took out a few robots one at a time and took up most of his energy transforming into the animals he chose to work with. The lion didn't seem too successful on the robots meanwhile a dinosaur, especially a T-Rex, would probably have been too dangerous. He remembered a time when he used a T-Rex to take out multiple enemies at once but almost stepping on Starfire earned him a fierce lecture from Robin and some cold and sorry looks from Raven and Cyborg. Being the person she was, Starfire apologized to Beastboy for apparently being in his way which she felt she shouldn't have done. One hug, two laughs, and some more apologies later, everything seemed to be back to normal. Just as he was about to go into another mistake-filled memory, a brutal punch striked him in the gut which sent an oomph from his mouth.

Doubling over and trying to regain the air that escaped him, a shadow came over him which turned out to be the robot that made him this vulnerable. Struggling to get up, Beastboy saw a flash of black appear and disappear in front of him. One blink later, Beastboy saw the robot in pieces and looked around to see his savior. Cyborg was flailing his sonic cannon all about shooting anything that came into his path, Starfire was up in the air shooting her starbolts down below her making the ones that fell from the attack, become replaced by a new robot. Robin was attacking Slade using what looked to be nearly every tactic he knew, but when his eyes landed on Raven, he saw her giving him a quick look and returning back to her fight. Before he could think of anything else, he was interrupted with a fist that punched the air a few centimeters in front of him. Returning the gesture but actually making contact, Beastboy turned into the next animal he could think of that could damage the robot, and attacked.

Although Cyborg was destroying Sladebots, faster than usual, they never stopped taking the broken robots place. It seemed like he didn't even make a dent which scared him a little. _Maybe Slade made them tougher so they could be more of a challenge. _Cyborg continued reassuring himself with these thoughts and then realized that there was a beeping noise coming from his left arm. Never stopping using the sonic cannon, he checked his arm and saw that the blasts he was creating was drowning his battery quickly. Transforming his cannon back into his robotic arm, Cyborg was forced to turn to hand-to-hand combat. His fists never stopped making contact with the enemy which meant that there was always something to hit. That was both good and bad.

"How many are there?" Cyborg asked no one specifically in between punches. This was starting to get troublesome and was wearing him out. Out of the corner of his human eye, he could see that Beastboy was starting to breathe heavily from shape-shifting and attacking too much. Raven continued using her powers to bring objects to her command and using them to her benefit, but Cyborg knew that this must have been exceptionally tiring for her. Starfire was slowly coming back to earth and started throwing less starbolts. After learning that Starfire's powers were based on her emotions, he would keep an eye on her during battle just in case. In most cases if Starfire was hiding something but continuing to fight, then it would be nearly impossible to spot. Little did Cyborg know that this was one of those moments.

Starfire didn't stop fighting. She couldn't. Over the past years of people hurting her, she was getting exceptional at hiding her emotions and not letting anyone know how she really felt. Unfortunately for her, this one battle seemed to throw her off now more than ever. For some reason, the events of earlier that day continued replaying in her head which caused Starfire to weaken her fight. Feeling herself decreasing in her flight as her happiness was starting to fade, she saw the Sladebots hitting her feet and trying to grab them but continuing to miss. Starfire was growing exhausted and decided to quickly look around to see how everyone else was doing. She planned that if one of them needed help then she would be able to finish off her share of robots and help one of her friends.

Cyborg was flashing in between colors of gray and regular sky blue which covered his robotic body. Raven seemed to stay intact but seemed to be able to continue for a little while longer. Beastboy took a little bit more time transforming into animals but didn't seem to be in too bad of condition. As soon as Starfire's eyes landed on Robin, she was scared to see him battling Slade and he looked like he was losing. There was an obvious injury to his right leg and you could tell since he was limping meanwhile trying to back up or kick. Starfire winced at how Robin was still going through with this and imagined herself in his position. But she seemed to feel even worse when she saw that Slade had kicked Robin at his side making him bend over, his head unprotected practically begging for Slade to hurt it in some way. But Starfire wasn't going to let that happen any time soon.

Seeing that Robin looked barely conscious, she lowered herself close enough to a Sladebot so it wouldn't be able to touch her, but she could touch it. Therefore, Starfire grabbed the robot's arm and swung it in a circle around her, where the other robots were. One by one they all fell and the plan was to knock them down then throwing the robot she had in her hands, and rocketing it towards Slade which would, hopefully, stop him long enough so she would be able to attack him. Everything had to be correct if she wanted this to be just right, but what Starfire didn't see was that Robin had recovered himself and was standing in the exact spot where Slade was previously. Making the move that would plunge her into her new life, she threw the machine.

Everything was perfect, the timing, the strength held within it, and it even hit someone, it just wasn't her target. Robin was knocked back to the side and laid on the ground struggling to get up and fight Slade. Unfortunately for Starfire, Slade took the opportunity of Robin's fall and got away-with his minions close behind that weren't destroyed in battle-, laughing at the Tamaranian's mistake. When Robin stood, he realized that Slade wasn't there but saw Starfire with her eyes wide and looking guilty.

"Robin! I am most sorry! I meant to hit Slade but I did not see you there!" It was then that Robin had understood why there was a broken robot's "body" next to him, Slade was gone, and why she and the other Titans had looked scared. It had taken Robin a lot to not do anything that he knew he would regret, but sadly, it wasn't enough.

"What did you do?!" Robin yelled letting the anger get to him.

"I-I was aiming to hit Slade, n-not you! P-Please understand!" Starfire's eyes were starting to fill with tears but she refused to let them go any farther.

"You idiot! Because of your stupid mistake Slade got away! Why didn't you just handle your own battle? I was fine until you came along!" Robin was never one to hurt or yell at Starfire but there's always a first time for everything.

"I-I am sorry." Starfire's voice had gotten so low that it was barely a whisper and she had felt ashamed. Hanging her head down, she shut and tightened her eyes, preparing for what insult might come to her.

"Look at you. Pathetic. You don't even have it in you to look at me," Turning towards the other Titans that were just standing there watching the entire scene unfold, Robin said, "Let's go." Not giving another look at Starfire, he left and got on his R-cycle speeding off into the night.

* * *

Starfire had gone to her room, acting like what Robin said back at the warehouse didn't affect her in any way. She was being a tough girl like always. Raven had gotten a headache when she rode in the T-car with Beastboy, Starfire, and Cyborg since everyone's emotions had flooded her head. Sensing the empath's pain, Starfire had apologized and taken the blame for what happened which the remaining Titans replied with an "It's not your fault," and "He didn't mean it." She could tell that they were trying to comfort her but it didn't work, it never did. The entire car ride had been filled with those excuses and Starfire had acting like she believed them but had had enough. So when they got home, she made an excuse that she was tired and said she would see them in the morning.

There she was now, lying on her bed, thinking about what Robin said to her. Questions on whether it was true or not entered her mind and the more she heard it, the more she believed it. _How I wish there was a way for me to feel better._

She turned her head to the side and had noticed that the band aid from earlier had disappeared. She saw the scar that was starting to heal even though she practically set the bandage on fire with her powers. Whatever pain she felt when her hand was protected by the adhesive medical strips, she blocked out which seemed to help. Remembering what she did to feel better, Starfire got up and walked towards the drawer that held her future. The shard of glass.

Opening her drawer, she felt around it until she felt a small amount of pain at her finger. Carefully pointing it again to see where it was safe to hold, Starfire became satisfied when she was able to take out the glass. Re-examining it to see if it had gotten broken into pieces, Starfire quickly thought about the ups and downs if she did this.

A positive thing would be the fact that it would rid of her pain. When an edge picked at her finger, she couldn't help but feel excited at what could occur next. Another advantage would be that no one would be able to notice. Tamaranians were fast remarkable creatures who also had the ability to heal faster than a regular human so a mark that she left behind could be gone in a couple of days. Three at the most. She would also be able to put make-up on the healing scars to match her skin tone, which would hopefully not make the other Titans notice. Then she remembered what Robin had said and she continued telling herself that this was her escape. She deserved this, after all that she has done, she needed this and badly too.

Taking the glass in her hand, gripping it tightly but enough so it wouldn't open up her hand, she pointed the sharp end at her wrist and let the end of it land on her unmarked skin. _"Pathetic… Ugly… Fat… Freak…" X'hal, I am in need of this._ Not letting her conscience talk her out of it, she dug the crystal into her wrist and slowly slid it across her skin leaving a trail of blood. She couldn't help but smile. The feeling was…exceptional. It felt like all her troubles were leaving her and as soon as it started, it ended just as fast. She looked down and saw blood trailing on both sides of the wrist, dripping onto the floor and starting a puddle.

_I will stop for now._ Starfire walked to her bathroom, washed off the glass and her wrist, in case someone entered. She didn't care about getting an infection because as she thought about it, she said to herself, "The more pain, the better."

She placed the glass back in its place and stood there with her hand on the knob. A gently smile crept onto her face as she whispered, "See you tomorrow." With that small goodbye, she closed the drawer and laid back on her bed where she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

**For the sake of the story, Starfire will sometimes speak or think in "normal" English. I know that I may have gotten too extreme with what Robin said, but remember that he becomes a completely different person when it comes to Slade. Let's just say that this wasn't one of his best moments. I'm unsure with how I did the battle scene but I hope you could understand what I pictured and followed along. This will be a Robin/Starfire fanfic, since they are my favorite couple and there's too many Robin/Raven fanfics going around. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I hate the people who believe in the couple, I just think that Robin and Starfire go together very well. Therefore, I am making as many stories as I can think of to ease myself and those of you who might think the same thing. I apologize for this chapter taking too long to update but I am a busy girl. A lot of things are happening-but for some reason I like being busy-but since Spring Break is coming, I think I'm going to mainly work on the stories I have to update. I will never give up and move on, I don't do that nor will I ever, so stay calm. I am here to comfort you. Please review, follow, fav, and all that other good stuff! I don't own anything but Warner Bros. and DC Comics do!**

**Always yours,**

**light is in the dark**

**P.S. I have decided that I will write poetry, just to show how Starfire feels and I'll try to make it sound like she wrote it. With her grammar I mean, and no promises that it won't be dark. I once again am sorry for any grammar mistakes.**


	2. Chapter 2- Acting

**Chapter 2**

**Acting**

"_You idiot! Because of your stupid mistake Slade got away! Why didn't you just handle your own battle? I was fine until you came along!" _

"_I-I am sorry." _

_Not letting her conscience talk her out of it, she dug the crystal into her wrist and slowly slid it across her skin leaving a trail of blood. She couldn't help but smile. The feeling was…exceptional. It felt like all her troubles were leaving her and as soon as it started, it ended just as fast._

_She placed the glass back in its place and stood there with her hand on the knob. A gently smile crept onto her face as she whispered, "See you tomorrow." With that small goodbye, she closed the drawer and laid back on her bed where she fell asleep with a smile on her face._

Starfire woke up with a blank expression on her face. That was uncalled for since it was a beautiful morning which would usually make her excited for a new day. But not today. Remembering what happened the previous night with the battle, the alien couldn't help but feel a few tears rolling down her face. As soon as they came, they left after thinking about what she did after the battle which made her rethink if that was a good idea. Since she had to get out of her room eventually, how would she be able to think of a lie, a good enough lie so Raven would believe her.

Ever since the two female Titans switched bodies, they shared a closer relationship and understood each other more. At least once a day, Raven would meet Starfire in her room in order to meditate and maybe share a tea together. One time, when the two girls were meditating, Starfire had an ongoing battle in her mind about whether she should tell Raven about something. Sensing Starfire's mood, Raven opened her eyes and turned to the alien.

**Flashback**

"_Okay Starfire, what's wrong?" She was still in the air with her legs crossed but her attention was focused on Starfire instead of her breathing._

"_N-Nothing is wrong friend Raven! Please, why do you ask?" Starfire knew this was a dumb question but she hoped that Raven would drop the subject so she would be able to have time to know what she wanted to ask from the empath._

"_Really Starfire? I'm meditating with you meanwhile focusing on my emotions and breathing. I can obviously sense that your breathing is fast showing that you're nervous. You might've as well have arrows pointing at you saying that you wanted to say something. Now tell me." Raven's facial expression didn't change but her violet eyes showed that she was concerned for her best friend._

_Knowing that there was no way out of telling her, Starfire sighed and thought of where to begin. "Raven, how do you control your emotions?" At the moment, Starfire didn't have to use techniques that she would soon use but she had a feeling that she would use them one day._

"_Why?" Raven was curious to know why she wanted to know but figuring that this was Starfire, then maybe there was no harm in a question like this. But she had to make sure._

"_I am most interested in knowing since you never completely told me and there are times when we are in battle and my mind drifts off. Some of the times I am fine and focused but other times I rethink of what happened to me that day or I am concerned if one of you got hurt. I believe that if I know your techniques, besides meditating, then I will somewhat be more of use to a battle." Most of her reasoning was true but that wasn't her real question. She really wanted to know how she would be able to not allow Raven to enter her mind and see her emotions._

_The empath narrowed her eyes a small amount as if it would help her see if she was telling the truth. After getting a satisfying result, she decided to tell Starfire about what she did for years. "Well Starfire, the first thing you should know is that I meditate, obviously, but when I do I focus on my emotions and think of ways to maintain them. For example, if there was a memory when I was angry, I would remember what happened and, in a way, feed it to my anger. Then I would remind myself to not get carried away and convince myself that if I did show that emotion, then someone's life would be in jeopardy and there would be no way to save them. In my case, that's partially true. You know why I can't show my emotions but that's what I mainly do." Seeing that Starfire had understood and seemed interested on what they were discussing, Raven continued._

"_When you're not meditating then it gets a little harder. Let's say you're happy about something but it's a secret. What would you do?" Starfire thought of something that she hoped would happen one day and said it without thinking of Raven's reaction._

"_Well if I had found out that you and friend Beastboy were secretly a couple, then I would tell you that I knew about the two of you." Starfire realized her mistake and made a small "eep" before covering her mouth._

_Ignoring what Starfire had just said and the blush that was creeping upon her cheeks, Raven held up her hand and said, "Never say that again. Got it?" After Starfire gave a sharp nod, Raven took a few breaths and returned to the subject at hand._

"_Okay, that's good that you would tell the person that you know. But what would you do if it came into conversation and you know that they want to keep it a secret?"_

"_Truthfully, I would most likely forget their request and say that they made a charming couple." Starfire had answered honestly and although she knew that wasn't the answer Raven was looking for, she hoped that her friend would help correct her mistake and tell her what she would do._

"_Okay, that's where you went wrong. Now that you told the other person that they were a couple, then it could start an argument and they might assign the blame on you. Then chances are they would hold a grudge and they wouldn't be your friend anymore. That might be worse-case scenario but you want to be prepared if it does happen. Wanna know what I would do?" After an eager nod, Raven continued. "Well first I would think of what the topics before were about and if they had any connection to the couple. And if they asked you what you thought about the two being a couple, then you could answer something like 'I could see them together' so that way you wouldn't really be lying but you wouldn't be saying that they were a couple. You're just voicing your opinion. I'm getting too deep into this but overall, just think about the consequences and what other people might feel about it. Although it may seem impossible, it'll come to you on the spot. It's honestly never failed me. Did you get it?"_

_Starfire understood what Raven was explaining to her and answered with a yes. Onto the next question. "I have another question for you friend. Let us say you are speaking with someone and they ask you something that is a delicate subject for you. How would you ignore the question in a way that they would seem satisfied with your answer?"_

"_Well it depends on the subject. If it's dangerous and you know it is, whether it was before it happened or you know deep down, then you could answer the question without giving too much away. And if it's something that you aren't ready to talk about, then you could just tell them that you don't want to talk about it or just dance around the subject."_

_After a decent amount of time talking about ways to hide your emotions, Starfire had finally gotten the answer she was hoping to get. Once she got what she wanted, Raven had asked Starfire if there was anything else she wanted to know which the Tamaranian was happy to say no to._

**End of Flashback**

Forgetting the memory, Starfire got up from her bed and went to the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. Unfortunately for her, the mirror was broken from the day before so she decided to go to the bathroom the entire team shared.

Once she got there, the first thing Starfire did was look at the mark she left of her wrist the previous night. Her wrist had shown a light pick scar which was barely noticeable so she figured that she wouldn't have to do anything to cover it up. _X'hal, please do not allow my friends to see the action I have done last night._ Once she finished with her silent prayer, Starfire did the usual by brushing her teeth and fixing her hair. She decided to not take a shower and went back to her room.

9:28. Starfire realized that she had missed the sunrise her first time in years. This made her seem disappointed in herself because without her daily dose of the Sun's energy, her powers would be able to fail her making her fail the team.

_It is not like I have not already failed them. Especially Robin. _His words never left her mind and the more it replayed itself in her mind, the more convinced she was. Taking a deep sigh and thinking about her friends, Starfire decided to not let her failure to the team affect her today. She would simply act like nothing happened so they wouldn't have to worry about her. Forcing a smile on her face, she thought of a happy memory with her friend Raven, and floated down the halls towards the common room.

As soon as she entered the double doors, she did what she always did every morning and said in a big happy voice while spreading out her arms, "Glorious morning friends! I hope you all slept well the last night!"

Everyone was there eating breakfast but stopped as soon as they heard Starfire. They never heard her say something that almost sounded… normal. Usually she would say something like 'pleasant shlorvaks' but today, she said 'I hope you all slept well the last night.' Her grammar made them all do a double-take and Beastboy was about to ask why she almost sounded normal when Raven spoke before he had a chance to.

"Hi and I did. Thanks. How did you sleep Starfire?" Cyborg, Beastboy and Robin now turned their attention to Raven as she took a sip of her tea ignoring the boys and concentrating on Starfire. She seemed different that morning. The three boys were shocked at the girls' behavior so far with the fact that Starfire knew more about the Earth language, and Raven was talking more and seemed to be trying to be nice.

"Oh I slept very well friend! Thank you for asking! I apologize for being tardy this morning. I believe I have overslept." Starfire floated over to the refrigerator and took out an apple then floated to her usual seat which was between Cyborg and Robin. _Do not let them know Koriand'r. Continue __**acting**__._ One bite after another and yet everyone was still silent.

Beastboy and Cyborg were still confused about Starfire and Raven's behavior, Raven was trying to figure Starfire out since something felt different about her, and Robin was thinking of different ways to beg Starfire for his forgiveness. After last night, he went into his room and started to think about what he said. After reminding himself that it was his fault and not Starfire's, he decided to apologize to Starfire without making things worse whether he said is wrong or just didn't. Raven, Cyborg and Beastboy had all paid him a visit after checking that Starfire went to sleep and gave him multiple lectures. They had helped the Boy Wonder but it made him feel worse about his actions. Good.

After a few more painful minutes of silence, Starfire finished her apple, got up from her seat, and threw it away. Thinking of a way to break the ice, she did the one thing she could think of.

"Well, I believe I will go outside of the Tower today and do an outing. Would anyone care to join me?" All eyes looked up at her and before Robin could say that he would like to, Raven answered her question.

"I'll go. When do you want to go?" Although her voice was monotonous, Beastboy was able to tell that something was bothering her. _Maybe I'll go too. Just to make sure everything's all right with them._

"Count me in too Star!" Beastboy gave Starfire a toothy grin which made the alien giggle.

"I think I'll join ya'll. I need to go to the autoshop first if that's cool. My baby needs an upgrade!" Cyborg turned his head in Robin's direction, expecting him to say that he would join them. Raven and Beastboy joined Cyborg but Starfire refused to look at Robin. She was a forgiving person and even though what he said to her ticked her off, and upset her, she decided to forgive him even if he didn't want to apologize. Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean everything can go back to normal. Starfire had just recently learned that.

"I actually have some work to do." Glares from all around were coming from all around him but he could only feel three pairs of eyes fixed on him. And none of them made him feel butterflies in his stomach. After Cyborg secretly, but roughly, nudged Robin's arm, he took the hint.

"But it can wait." Robin finished.

_Nice save Boy Blunder._

_Go back to your own mind will you Raven? _After feeling her presence in his head disappear, Robin smiled at Starfire but she looked at him with kind eyes but gave him a don't-lie-to-me look.

"That is nice of you Robin but you do not have to join us. Please do as you wish and do not feel obliged to go." Starfire turned to the rest of her friends and clapped her hands together. "It is glorious news to hear that you will all join me! Would you like to leave at noon?" After a few nods, Starfire gave one more 'glorious' and floated out of the room. Not needing a lecture of look from his friends, he followed after the Tamaranian and caught her faster than he thought he would.

"Starfire! Wait!" Starfire turned around but this time her feet felt the floor.

"Yes friend?" _Do not let him suspect._

"Well first off I want to say that I don't feel like I have to go. I really want to but work comes first you know?" Robin started rubbing the back of his neck as a habit that meant he was nervous.

"I understand Robin. Work does come first and I am happy you do not feel forced to join us. Is that all?" _Please say that is all. Please say that is all._

"Actually, there's one more thing that I have to tell you. And it's really important." After a nod from Starfire that told him to continue, Robin took her advice and did.

"Look, about last night and what happened after… he left. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to and shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. You don't deserve that and I want you to know that I feel terrible. None of the things I said are true but I was in a… bad mood, and needed to let out my anger on something. Unfortunately, the closest thing to me at that moment was you. I'm sorry Starfire, I really am. Can you forgive me?" There were more things Robin wanted to tell her but he felt that he shouldn't if it showed his feelings towards her. Something inside of him told Robin that it wasn't the right time to tell Starfire. _Soon. I promise Starfire._

Starfire was shocked that Robin would apologize to her, not that he never did but it felt weird. Almost as if that wasn't what he wanted to say. Maybe he didn't mean it or maybe he wanted to say something else. Whatever it was, Starfire didn't give Robin a chance to say it.

"Thank you Robin for your apology. I would like for you to know that you are forgiven and please do not do the sweating of it. I understand that I disobeyed your orders and for that I am sorry. Will you forgive me?"

"Don't sweat it Starfire. You don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm just happy that we're good. We are good, right?" Robin couldn't help but feel the worry in his voice because he knew that something was off. He hadn't really paid much attention to her apology but only paid attention to the fact that she was apologizing to him. Whatever it was, he just wanted to be with her again. Have everything back to normal.

Starfire laid her hand on Robin's bicep and gave it a light squeeze. He couldn't help but feel small shots of electricity shock him when she touched him. "Of course we are good Robin. Please, do not worry any longer." Her gentle voice was enough to calm Robin down.

"If you will excuse me Robin, I must go and freshen up." Letting go of his arm, Starfire gave Robin one last smile and wave and walked away.

_She forgave me._ Robin should have been happy that she said she forgave him but the weight that was on his shoulders felt heavier. He shrugged it off and walked down the hall too but to his room. He continued thinking about Starfire and how everything should be okay now but what he didn't notice was that she was far from okay. He was too busy in his thoughts that he didn't notice that Starfire had walked away. She hadn't flown, she hadn't floated, she walked.

**I just wanted to say that most of this story will be based on a true story. I will not say whose but some of the parts used here, or in the future, will be about me and what I do or have gone through. Don't assume the worst but I felt that some of you might be curious. I'm sorry if this didn't feel like Robin would really do this but I have no idea where the Robin side of me went. Maybe he left for a vacation, we don't know! He will return soon enough, promise. Please review, follow, fav and all that other good stuff. I don't own anything but Warner Bros. and DC Comics do!**

**Always yours,**

**light is in the dark**

**P.S. Just so you know, most of this story will be in Starfire's POV but don't be surprised if I add in a few thoughts from others here and there. I'm sorry about the grammar! I feel off today. I'll also explain about Starfire's new-found grammar in the next chapter. I'll work it in there!**


	3. Chapter 3- Disguise

**Chapter 3**

**Disguise**

"_Raven, how do you control your emotions?" … She really wanted to know how she would be able to not allow Raven to enter her mind and see her emotions._

_The empath narrowed her eyes a small amount as if it would help her see if she was telling the truth. After getting a satisfying result, she decided to tell Starfire about what she did for years._

_After a decent amount of time talking about ways to hide your emotions, Starfire had finally gotten the answer she was hoping to get. Once she got what she wanted, Raven had asked Starfire if there was anything else she wanted to know which the Tamaranian was happy to say no to._

_His words never left her mind and the more it replayed itself in her mind, the more convinced she was. Taking a deep sigh and thinking about her friends, Starfire decided to not let her failure to the team affect her today. She would simply act like nothing happened so they wouldn't have to worry about her. Forcing a smile on her face, she thought of a happy memory with her friend Raven, and floated down the halls towards the common room._

"_Well, I believe I will go outside of the Tower today and do an outing. Would anyone care to join me?" _

"_I actually have some work to do." _

"_I understand Robin. Work does come first and I am happy you do not feel forced to join us. Is that all?"_

"_Actually, there's one more thing that I have to tell you… Look, about last night and what happened after… he left. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to and shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. You don't deserve that and I want you to know that I feel terrible. None of the things I said are true but I was in a… bad mood, and needed to let out my anger on something. Unfortunately, the closest thing to me at that moment was you. I'm sorry Starfire, I really am. Can you forgive me?"_

"_Thank you Robin for your apology. I would like for you to know that you are forgiven and please do not do the sweating of it… If you will excuse me Robin, I must go and freshen up."_

She forgave me. _Robin should have been happy that she said she forgave him but the weight that was on his shoulders felt heavier. He shrugged it off and walked down the hall too but to his room. He continued thinking about Starfire and how everything should be okay now but what he didn't notice was that she was far from okay. He was too busy in his thoughts that he didn't notice that Starfire had walked away. She hadn't flown, she hadn't floated, she walked._

* * *

As soon as Starfire entered the room, Raven knew that something was wrong with her. She didn't think that the boys noticed but she defiantly did. She noticed how there was a slight waver in her voice, the way her arms were spread out made her seem stiff, and when she was talking to everyone she seemed like she wasn't herself. Raven understood that Starfire would at times push away her feelings for others but this was different. She _felt _like Starfire didn't _want _anyone to know anything. Raven pushed away her suspicions for a moment when they started talking about going out for the day.

Part of her reason for going out was to find out more about Starfire. Maybe if the two boys that were coming parted from them, then she would be able to talk to Starfire. Going into her mind wouldn't be a problem either.

An hour passed before they were all ready to leave the Tower. Cyborg insisted on being incognito and created holographic rings for every one of them, including Robin. He met with all of the Titans and gave them choices on how they would look like. Making the decisions with Beastboy was the most challenging since he would always try to tinker with the computer and make himself look buffer, taller, and more attractive. Eventually, Beastboy gave up and decided on a look that he hasn't seen for years.

When they all arrived in the common room, Beastboy was the first one to say what everyone was thinking.

"Alright dudes! I can't handle it anymore so show me how you look like! Rings in three, two, one!" Beastboy being Beastboy, was the only one who touched his fists together, transforming him into a different looking teenager. His skin-tone was a little pale but managed to match his hair perfectly. Blond hair with streaks of green in them lightly swept his blue eyes and his normal eyes that were no longer pointy. His growth spurt made Beastboy the second tallest in the team, making Raven the shortest. His uniform no longer covered his body but hidden muscles were shown by the white T-shirt he wore. Beastboy also wore jeans that went well with his black sneakers and to finish it all off, he added a name.

"Call me Logan. Garfield Logan. Or better yet, call me Gar for short." Beastboy-or Gar- gave a toothy grin that showed off his fangless teeth. Everyone was astonished by how… normal he looked. His smile faded when he noticed that no one else had transformed.

"Come on guys! We better get this whole amazement of each other's looks out of our system before we leave! Who's next?" Gar raised his eyebrows in an upward and downward motion towards Raven but she shook her head.

Raven turned her head to Cyborg's direction and said, "You're next."

Cyborg gave a confident grin and punched his fists together. Out came a tall, muscular, African-American teenager. No, a _man _would suit his **disguise** better. This wasn't the first time Cyborg used the holographic rings but he did manage to change a few things. When he used the rings for undercover, he wore a gray headband but that was gone. His clothing hadn't changed much besides the color of his tight-fitting T-shirt which was now an indigo (A/N: It's pretty much a dark blue for those of you who didn't know) that matched his intense brown eyes. All in all, he looked intimidating but he was a softy at heart. There were less surprised faces around the room but they looked impressed.

"Name's Victor Stone. But I prefer if ya'll call me Vic." He put his hands down and motioned towards Robin whose eyes bugged out of his sockets. Everyone started looking at him and tried their best to convince him. Truthfully, he didn't want to show his alter-ego. It brought back memories that he partially wanted to forget and he didn't want the attention. If people saw him then they may recognize him and make a big deal out of it. On the other hand, he wasn't going out. Robin was going to stay indoors and do research but it still mattered to him. _Just get over it Dick. It's not that big of a deal._

"Fine but no one says a word. Got it?" A strict tone was in Robin's voice which he meant to have. Taking a small breath, Robin pounded the rings together. Robin's traffic suit that embraced his old life was replaced with a black shirt that showed off his well-earned muscles. Jeans covered his legs with black sneakers. His ebony hair color didn't change but instead of all the hair gel used to keep his hair up, it was down but there were still small spikes that covered his head. His hair drifted over his eyes which, to every Titans dismay, were covered with black sunglasses. After years of living with his team, he managed to grow a foot over Starfire whereas she stayed the same height.

"Dude! I know you! Why didn't you tell us you were _the _Dick Grayson?! I didn't know you were _the _Dick Grayson! Hey guys look, I'm touching _the _Dick Grayson!" Beastboy continued to poke Robin up to the point where Robin was forced to grab Beastboy's finger and twist it. He made sure to not break it but he wanted to Beastboy to learn his lesson. After a yelp from the changeling, Robin let go and returned to his casual posture.

"It's not that big of a deal. Moving on. Who's next?"

Raven sensed Starfire's uneasiness about revealing herself so she decided to give her a little more time. "Let's just get this over with."

Raven carelessly touched the rings together which replaced their Raven with someone familiar. This Raven had a lighter skin-tone but was still slightly pale. Black skinny jeans, a dark purple shirt and a dark jean jacket covered Raven's body. A belt similar to the one Raven wore was tied around her petite waist that went well with the outfit. Her hair color was black but the ends were covered with her usual purple color. Her eyes were still the same but the only difference was that they were a lighter shade. Beastboy tried his best not to gawk at this version of Raven. He knew she was beautiful but now it looked like she wanted to show it off. Knowing her, this wasn't her intentions but he couldn't help but feel more feelings towards her.

"My name is Rachel Roth. Don't wear it out. Garfield, I'm talking to you." Raven had shot a look at Beastboy which made him give off a small blush. He did use her name quite often but to him, it was a name that would never wear out.

"Well, looks like Star's the last one to go. Come on lil lady, show them what you look like." Cyborg gave a reassuring smile which didn't make Starfire any more confident. Ever since the run-in with the two girls, she started doubting her looks which made her self-conscious to how everyone would react to her. Would they shun her for being hideous? Would she have to leave the team? Only one way to find out.

Starfire gave out a small breath before she gently bumped her fists together. Robin never thought that someone could be as beautiful as Starfire but he was mistaken. This person, she took the cake. Her long legs were tan instead of the orange color he had gotten used to. She wore small cream-colored shorts that ended halfway between her thighs and knees. A light purple tank top showed off more of her skin that Robin craved to touch. Her top matched her flip-flops and the jewelry she wore. Instead of her armband around her upper arm, it was down towards her wrist which covered Starfire's marks. She made extra sure that she would still have her Tamaranian culture with her but managed to make it look casual. The part of her uniform that had the green orb was now small and in the shape of a necklace that surrounded her neck. The length of her hair stayed the same along with her hair color. To Robin's dismay, Starfire's eyes were now a duller shade of green but very small amounts of her jade eyes hung around somewhere in there. Her eyebrows were also no longer small ovals but were now shaped like how most people had them. Even though she was gorgeous, Robin knew that this wasn't _his _Starfire. He missed the original version. The version he fell in love with and was used to. _Her personality didn't change. She's still the same girl just… different looking._

"You may call me Korianna Anders." Starfire never stopped looking down at her hands that fiddled with each other's fingers. Everyone, besides Cyborg, stared at Starfire and her appearance. Raven was the only one who sensed her discomfort and doubt. She would have to look into that later. Forgetting that he wasn't alone, Robin muttered something under his breath that didn't go unnoticed by his teammates, all except Starfire.

"Beautiful." Three heads turned their attention towards Robin but he was so mesmerized by Starfire's beauty that he didn't notice.

Cyborg cleared his throat which apparently caught everyone's attention. Robin fought back a blush and Starfire looked up to the oldest there.

"Alright ya'll, now that we got that out of our system we should go now. The day's not gettin' any younger! To the T-car!" Cyborg was the first one to leave the room followed by Beastboy and Raven. Starfire, however, continued to stay with Robin. She didn't know why but she felt like she had to stay there with him.

Robin couldn't take the tension anymore and decided to stop the awkwardness that was in the air.

"You… uh, you look great Star. I mean, Kori." A subtle blush covered Robin's face with which he did not enjoy. Now was not the time to get tongue-tied.

"You look handsome too Ro- Dick." Starfire looked up at Robin who was only a few inches away from her. Refusing to let the blush show, Starfire looked away. She knew that he didn't have any feelings for her. Ever since he shouted at her, she knew that he would never yell at a person he had feelings for. No person would say such hurtful things, right? Not letting herself get lost in thought, Starfire was about to leave when Robin stopped her.

"Actually, my name's Richard John Grayson. People call me 'Dick' but you have the choice to call me whatever you want." Robin gave a warm smile towards Starfire which elated her. Something about the name Richard pleased her. He gave her the opportunity to call him which ever name she please. She didn't need any time to think about it since she knew exactly what she wanted to call him.

"Very well, _Richard._" Shivers were sent down Robin's spine when she said his name. Back when he wasn't a Titan, he didn't let anyone call him by that name. The only person who called him by his real name was his mother and didn't want anyone to take her place. But something about the way Starfire said it made him feel warm inside. It was… pleasurable.

"Instead of Korianna, do you mind if I give you a nickname? Maybe Kori?" Starfire looked up at the beautiful nickname which Robin brought up. _Kori. _Starfire sent a wide smile that showed her approval along with many small nods.

"Hey Star! I mean, Kori! We gotta go!" Beastboy had managed to come in once again without the two noticing since they were caught up in each other's small talk. Starfire's eyes went wide as she remembered what they were supposed to be doing. But before she could tell Beastboy that she was coming, he had already left.

"You are positive you do not wish to come with us Richard?" Starfire had managed to dangle hope in her words but was met with disappointment.

"You know I'd love to but I have to stay here and work. Next time we'll go together. I promise." Robin sent Starfire a small smile that showed his sincere apology. But that was all Starfire saw, an apology. She didn't pay attention to his promise but gave a curt nod and turned around, walking towards the door.

Before she left, Starfire turned her head halfway and said, "We shall see you later. Have a glorious time Richard." And Starfire left without another word. The doors opened up to her and as they started to close, Robin saw her run away in the direction of the garage.

* * *

**Sorry it took so long to update. I was mainly focused on another story that I said I was going to stop making (for the moment) but I decided that was too rash. Anyway, I hope you all liked this chapter mainly because it didn't have any cutting or stuff like that. I thought I would take my time with Starfire and gradually see how she's doing. Who knows, she might stop or she might become a danger to herself. This is one of my favorite stories because I can relate to it so well. I also decided to cut this chapter in half because it would be a pain to write and I mainly didn't want you guys to wait any longer. Anyway, please review, fav, follow and all that other good stuff! I don't own anything but Warner Bros. and DC Comics do!**

**Always yours,**

**light is in the dark**

**P.S. It's great to be back!**

**P.P.S. I know Starfire may have been a little OOC but in this story, this is how she's going to be like. I may make adjustments to her character but you've been warned.**

**P.S.S. I tried my best to describe their looks but this was out of memory. I hope you got the idea of what I imagined.**


	4. Chapter 4- Smile

**Chapter 4**

**Smile**

_Cyborg insisted on being incognito and created holographic rings for every one of them, including Robin._

"_Call me Logan. Garfield Logan. Or better yet, call me Gar for short."_

"_Name's Victor Stone. But I prefer if ya'll call me Vic."_

"_My name is Rachel Roth…"_

"_You may call me Korianna Anders."_

"…_my name's Richard John Grayson. People call me 'Dick' but you have the choice to call me whatever you want."_

"_Very well… You are positive you do not wish to come with us Richard?"_

"_You know I'd love to but I have to stay here and work. Next time we'll go together. I promise." Robin sent Starfire a small smile that showed his sincere apology. But that was all Starfire saw, an apology. She didn't pay attention to his promise but gave a curt nod and turned around, walking towards the door._

_Before she left, Starfire turned her head halfway and said, "We shall see you later. Have a glorious time Richard." And Starfire left without another word. The doors opened up to her and as they started to close, Robin saw her run away in the direction of the garage._

* * *

**Dick (Richard) Grayson: Robin**

**Victor (Vic) Stone: Cyborg**

**Garfield (Gar) Logan: Beastboy**

**Rachel Roth: Raven**

**Korianna (Kori) Anders: Starfire**

* * *

After the Titans-besides Robin-left in the T-car-which now looked like a cool but normal looking car- they debated where they would go but ended up agreeing on the mall. They would usually go to the pizza place but they decided to mix it up for a change.

About ten minutes passed before the four Titans arrived in the parking lot. Starfire was the first one to get out from the back of the car and couldn't help but let the smile show upon her face. Beastboy followed Starfire's lead along with Raven. Cyborg made sure everything was in order so his "baby" wouldn't get stolen again and once he was satisfied, he got out and locked the car.

Cyborg slapped and rubbed his hands together with a large grin spread across his face. "Alright ya'll! Vic's ready to go and have some fun! Who's with me?!"

"Dude, you know I am! Come on ladies, it's time to be normal for once!"

"And what's wrong with the original me?" Raven quirked an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest.

"N-Nothing! I was just saying that to all of us you know? I didn't mean it like that!"

"Please friends, let us not argue on a day off. As Vic said, we must 'have some fun'!" Starfire tried her best to talk in the common English language and was beginning to improve. Raven was the only one to notice.

"Whatever." With that, she walked off and into the mall with Beastboy on hot on her heels, attempting to defend himself.

"Let's just hope those two lovebirds don't kill each other before the day's over." Cyborg muttered in order for Raven to not be able to hear him. He gave one last kind look towards Starfire and followed his friends.

Starfire gave the lightest smile and walked towards the entrance of the mall. It had been a while since the Titans last had some fun so she had almost forgotten what the place looked like. Keyword here: almost.

Starfire couldn't help but give a true smile as she looked at her surroundings. There were two levels and escalators were found in front of some stores while natural plants were circling around the beautiful fountain in the middle. It seemed as though all of the places around it were placed there to bring one's eyes to the center, exactly where the fountain was. Every time she came here, she would always stand in awe.

"Hey Kori, you coming or what?" Beastboy yelled to Starfire but somehow managed to not call her Starfire.

"Y-Yes friend! I shall be there soon!" _Let us see if I will permit myself to have fun. Act normal._

After an hour of the four members constantly being together, Rachel had managed to separate herself and Starfire from the two boys. She said that she had to get something and needed Starfire's advice. Cyborg and Beastboy were too distracted by deciding on where to go that they didn't pay that much attention to Raven. After a few slaps to the side of their heads, they finally paid attention and she advised them to meet them at the fountain in an hour. Cyborg knew that they would most likely buy something so he gave them fifty dollars each. How he got the money, they didn't know but after a few 'thank you', they separated.

_Finally _thought Raven. She had had suspicions about Starfire. True, she didn't have anything much to go off of but it was almost like a gut feeling. Thinking of how to approach the conversation, Raven improvised and said something that she wished she would never say in her life.

"Wanna give me your opinion on some clothes that I can try on?" The look on Starfire's face was of pure joy.

"Oh thank you so much dear friend Rav- erm, Rachel. Pardon me, it may take me a while to adjust to our new names."

"Don't worry about it _Kori._" Raven gave Starfire a smile which didn't surprise Starfire at all. After they defeated Trigon, Raven decided on showing her emotions more. After all, no one and no prophecy would be able to stop her. Sure, she wouldn't be as open as Starfire but she vowed to herself that she would let a smile and a laugh come up every once in a while. Doing this also helped her with her powers and on controlling them. It was a win-win situation for Raven.

Starfire let out a giggle, grabbed Raven's hand, and walked her over to the nearest clothing store. As it turns out, the store had just about everything for your wardrobe. There was a boys section, girls section, a small section for shoes, and another part of the store sold accessories. Once they were inside, Starfire dragged Raven over to the teenage girls section and started to browse. _Nothing out of the ordinary so far. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. _

"Oh friend! Are you interested in this?" Starfire held up a long-sleeved dark blue shirt that had slits down the sleeves. Normally Starfire would try on just about anything, just to give it a chance, and although this shirt was cute, it practically screamed 'Raven'.

"I don't know. Maybe you should try it on."

"No no, believe me Rachel, this would look amazing on you. Please friend, try it on. If you do not like it then we shall not buy it and move on. If you do like it, then of course we will buy it." Raven decided to go along with Starfire, just to make her happy.

"Fine. Give me the shirt." Starfire happily gave her the shirt and Raven stalked off towards the dressing rooms, muttering a few curses. Starfire found a place to sit that was near the dressing rooms and sat down, patiently waiting for her friend to come out.

"Do you know who she reminds me of?" Starfire stood up straight. That voice, it sounded so familiar.

"That Starfire chick?" It was them.

"OMG! How did you know?"

"Honey please, I know everything."

"Do you know why she reminds me of that alien?"

"Simple, because she's ugly, weird, fat, can't talk right, and has almost the same terrible hair color."

"You don't think…"

"Of course not, that alien is too stupid to figure something out like that. Oh look, shoes!" Tears threatened to escape Starfire's eyes but she refused to do so. She already knew what she was and she didn't need anyone to remind her.

_**Please Kori, do not do this. They are lying. You are beautiful in every way and they are only the jealous.**_

_No, they are not. They are from this planet so they must know what normal is. I am clearly not it._

_**Do not say such foolish things. Do you not see, there is no such thing as "normal" it is only an illusion.**_

_Do you not hear yourself? You are not speaking "normally" and are saying lies to me! I do not understand most earthly ways and do something when I am not supposed to. Whenever I go out with anyone or by myself, there is always someone who looks at me differently. I am different and that is not good. I only wish to blend in and be like everyone else._

"Kori? Well?" Starfire looked around to find who spoke and only found Raven, dressed in the shirt.

"Oh friend! It looks perfect on you! Please, you must buy it and take it home to use it once again in the future!" Raven was slightly shocked by the fact that Starfire hadn't floated up to the ceiling. Whenever they went shopping together, which was rare, Raven would usually try something on and would have to check Starfire's feet when she got excited. But instead of pulling her shoulders down, Starfire's feet remained on the floor. The only thing that bothered Raven was that there was a slight moisture to her eyes. _Was she crying?_

"Uh, sure. Do you want to try anything on?"

_Simple, because she's ugly, weird, fat, can't talk right, and has almost the same terrible hair color._

"No thank you friend. I think I will save my money for food." Raven somehow didn't notice Starfire's strange behavior. Normally, she would spend hours on finding the right clothes but she seemed to have given up easily.

"Are you sure?"

Starfire thought that Raven would be suspicious so she looked around and saw something that was inconspicuous. A sweatshirt. It was purple with, believe it or not, green letters that said "I 3 JUMP CITY." It looked ordinary but seemed like something Starfire would wear. She sped over to it and picked it up. She got one size above her original and walked over to Raven.

"I shall purchase this. There are times when the Tower or the weather is cold."

"I didn't need an explanation Kori. You sure that's it? Don't you want to try it on?" Starfire looked at Raven with wide eyes and quickly pulled the sweatshirt above her. After adjusting it to make it look like her size, Starfire looked back to Raven who nodded along.

"Okay then. Well I'm done shopping, and you?"

"I am done as well. Please, let us purchase our new clothes." Raven stared at Starfire and then simply shrugged. Yep, something was definitely off about Starfire.

"Alright then." After the two girls bought their new clothes, they walked over to the smoothie stand with their bags in hand. They patiently waited and decided to have small talk until it was their turn.

"So why didn't you buy anything else? I usually have to stop you from buying everything in the store."

"Oh well I did not find it necessary to purchase more articles of clothing. Plus, the sweatshirt was quite warm and comfortable when I tried it on." _It also covered my skin._

"Ah. So where do you want to go after this?" Raven gestured towards the stand and Starfire looked deep in thought.

"I do not know. Perhaps we could find friend Vic and Gar and go back to our home? Did you have a place in mind?"

"Not really."

Once it was their turn, the two girls ordered their smoothies, paid for themselves, and found a place to sit-on the fountain. Starfire started to sip her strawberry smoothie meanwhile Raven was drinking out of her blueberry drink. At first, there was silence but that was only because Starfire was enticed with her beverage and Raven continued to think of ways to approach a conversation with Starfire. She knew something was off and she wanted to know.

"So, Kori. Do you mind me asking what happened between you and Dick this morning?" _Just rip it off like a bandage._

_You idiot! Because of your stupid mistake Slade got away! Why didn't you just handle your own battle? I was fine until you came along… Look at you. Pathetic._ Never would she forget. She knew that she should get mad at Robin for saying those things, but she just couldn't. She should have defended herself but she didn't. She shouldn't have hurt herself because of what he said.

_But it hurt. And I found the glass very pleasant._

_**You mustn't give in Koriand'r. You are a warrior and warriors do not give in to the enemy. You must stand and fight.**_

_I cannot. There are moments when you know you cannot fight anymore. This is one of those moments._

"Nothing happened. He merely apologized for his behavior last night and I forgave him. I know that what he said was rude but I believe everyone deserves a second chance. Plus, he was not himself. You know how he is whenever that villain is around Rachel. He is not the Dick we know but a more serious side comes out. He only does so to protect us and to stop any harm from coming our way. That is why I forgave him."

"So what you're telling me is that you're okay with him hurting you like that? I saw your face Sta- Kori. You looked sad and I know a part of you wanted to yell at him. So why didn't you? And don't tell me about is 'excuse.'" With one hand still holding the smoothie, Raven made an air-quotes motion when she said excuse.

"I do not know. Maybe because… because I love him."

"Oh Kori," Raven put her head in her hands and shook her head. After a minute, Rachel continued. "It doesn't matter how you feel about them! No matter who the person is, they have to treat you with respect. Whether you've known them for a minute or for your entire life, you need to be respected. What Dick did was unacceptable. I know we usually hide in the shadows and wait until he's calmed down but that just shows how scared we are of him. And that's not good Kori. I'm not scared but I don't want to start anything that I know could get ugly."

"Yes, you are correct. But you must realize that what he said to me did not affect me at all." That was a lie. "I may have seemed saddened at first but I recovered. I know he did not mean it and when he apologized, that meant that he truly felt sorry. You may not know him like I do but I know he meant it. Believe me friend, I am alright." Starfire grabbed Raven's hand and gave her a comforting smile. Unfortunately, Raven only saw the smile and not the look in her eyes that explained everything.

"If you say so, but if he hurts you in any way and I see you crying, I'm kicking his ass." Raven offered a smile and Starfire gladly accepted it.

"I would not expect anything less." Raven and Starfire continued to talk but it was about things that were somewhat unimportant. Once they finished their smoothies, they grabbed their shopping bags and decided to find the boys and leave.

Some time passed when they finally found them, of course, buying video games. They combined their money to buy games that would only cause more accusations of cheating from Beastboy. Raven had to literally drag Cyborg and Beastboy out of the store and to the car leaving a smiling Starfire behind.

As soon as they reached the car, Raven started to force Beastboy in his seat when he was trying to persuade her into letting him return to the store to get one last game. That left Cyborg in the driver's seat laughing at the pain Raven was putting him in. Starfire was the last one to arrive but when she looked away, she saw the two girls entering their car. That brought an immediate frown to her face as she saw them driving away. They were the cause of her unhappiness but she couldn't help but blame herself. _If I wasn't like what they described me, then there would be nothing to make fun of._

"Kori, come on. Get in before Gar finds a way out." Raven said before entering the car next to Beastboy. Starfire sneaked one last glance, forced a **smile** on her face, walked over to the passenger's seat and got in. A few whines from Beastboy and belt buckles later, the four Titans left.

* * *

**Wow, Starfire's really OOC in this story. Okay, I'm changing this story to an AU for the future. Before I say anything else, I just want to say that I'm not promoting anyone to do anything like this. I'm not saying that you should hurt yourself but I would be a hypocrite. This story is technically from my point of view and I'm telling you guys what happened or is happening. Realize how there's a positive side of Starfire that's telling her to stop. She's telling her to fight and that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I'm not sure if I said this correctly but I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of what I say. Secondly, I know Raven and Starfire's conversation was rather, awkward but they had to do something besides stand there. Sorry for the wait but I had a major malfunction when the shopping part came along. I swear, I always change one thing and it sometimes affects the story a lot or just some things. I've also been working on other stories I have and have started new ones. I need to control myself. I feel like I missed something or didn't explain something enough so please tell me if I confused you. Turns out that I'm going to do Robin's POV next chapter so just wait. Please review, fav, follow, and all that other good stuff! I don't own anything but Warner Bros. and DC Comics do!**

**Always yours,**

**light is in the dark**

**P.S. Here is a poem that I've kind of been promising. I hope you like it and if not then sorry! I think it goes with this chapter but who knows really?**

* * *

**Words**

Fat.

Ugly.

Stupid.

Pathetic.

Worthless.

Freak.

Suicidal.

You don't have to remind me.


	5. Chapter 5- Scars

**Chapter 5**

**Scar**

* * *

After the others left, Robin continued to stay in the common room. He knew he shouldn't have used the "paperwork" excuse but a part of him didn't want to go. He felt that Starfire was secretly still upset at him for what he said. But who could blame her? He would have held a grudge too but she wasn't that kind of person. Was she?

Who knew really? When it came to Starfire, it was almost always a surprise. No one would have thought that she would love the flavor of mustard so much to put it on nearly everything she ate. Based on her kind nature, no one would have guessed that she was a true warrior when it came to the battlefield. And who knew that she was a princess?! That girl was filled with surprises and even though Robin didn't know all of them, he knew that every new thing she told him would throw him off even more. Although it should have annoyed him, he wasn't and would eagerly wait until that day came. But this felt different.

When she left the Tower, Robin couldn't help but feel bad for her. She left the room, _running. _Maybe she was practicing not using her powers for when they would go out in public incognito. Robin continued to make excuses for Starfire when deep down, he knew why she wasn't flying.

Robin walked to his room and once he got there, he sat on his bed. The room was quiet but his mind wasn't. He continued to think about what the rest of the team was doing. Were they having fun? Were they in trouble? Did anyone get hurt? Did anyone find out about the holographic rings? Questions continued to bore in his skull while he was mindfully playing with the rings that were still on his gloved middle fingers. He never stopped sliding it off and on again until one of the rings slipped from his fingertips and landed on the floor, rolling under the bed.

The prodigy sighed and got down on his hands and knees. His hands slid all around the carpeted floor and it wasn't until he had to put his ear on the floor to see where it had gone when he had become frustrated.

"Come on, come on. Where are you?" Considering something so powerful was easy to lose agitated Robin further.

Robin's hand continued to brush against the fuzzy floor, contacting everything he wasn't looking for. Even though all of their rings were the same size, shape, and color, it was apparently impossible to find a bright silver piece of jewelry.

"I better not lose this thing." Robin said to no one in particular.

"Aha!" At long last, the ring was found and Robin snatched it before he lost it again. He held it up to his face, to make sure that he hadn't confused it with another object, and once he took a good look at it, Robin was satisfied.

He decided to keep the ring on his finger and keep it there, in order for it to not be misplaced again. If this one time caused trouble for him then who knows how much the next one would as well.

Robin couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he had never found the ring. He thought that he would look odd with only one ring on his hand when it came in a pair. Sure, it would look okay to anyone else but because he knew of its use, it was vital that he never let it disappear again. But if it did, then he would obviously have to go to Cyborg to either tell him he needed another one or that he was sorry for losing a piece of his technology.

The rings that each Titan received all had a small part of it that was from Cyborg. He had to use some of his circuits to create those things and the look on his face, knowing that someone had been careless and lost it, and on the first day too, would have been… well Robin didn't even know what his reaction would be. But he knew that it most likely wouldn't be good.

"Am I really that bored that I'm thinking about what could have happened? Maybe I should have gone with them." The reason Robin got a pair of rings was mainly because he was thinking about the future. There could be a day when he would have to go undercover and use his alter-ego so he might've as well had them now than bother Cyborg in the future. Better safe than sorry.

Speaking of being sorry, Robin knew that he should have gone with his teammates. "Now I'm bored and alone. I had the chance to go with them but no, I just had to stay here because I… why did I stay here?" Robin question himself when in reality, he didn't know the answer himself. Either he was trying to avoid Starfire at the moment or he just wasn't in the mood.

"Maybe I can do some paperwork or something. Anything that'll keep my mind busy." Robin took one final look at the two rings and walked out of his room.

Subconsciously, Robin went to the training room and walked over to the punching bag. He started to punch, kick, and at one point he took out his bo-staff and began to hit the poor thing. After some grunting and some excellent moves later, Robin had heard a noise down in the common room. It sounded like yelling. The punching bag was swinging from all of the momentum that Robin had given it and was coming back to him, but Robin grabbed the sides of it and forced it to stop. The bag obeyed his orders and remained still. Robin didn't move or make a single sound to make sure that it wasn't just his imagination.

More shouts. Someone was definitely in the Tower and by the sound of it, it was more than one person. _Why didn't the alarm sound? It would have told me if there was an intruder. Do they know the access code? Did they find the others?_

Question filled Robin's head but stopped when he heard someone come his way. The door that led to the training room was shut but something in Robin's sense told him that the intruder was coming towards him.

Robin silently ran over to one side of the door, so that when the person entered he would have the advantage to be able to see them but they wouldn't be able to see his attack coming. He pressed his body up against the cool wall and waited for the victim to make their move. The door opened and the first thing he saw was their shadow. _Tall guy. Doesn't matter. The bigger they are, the harder they fall._

Before he was able to see who it was, Robin saw one foot enter the room and that was more than enough for him. He was a caged tiger and needed to be free. Robin shot out his leg and went into a crouching position while making a full 360. One grunt later and he knew that they had been caught off guard and on the floor. Once he took out his staff again and held it to the intruder's neck, he took a good look on their face and realized who it was.

"Starfire? What are you doing?" Robin had stopped paying attention to the position he was holding her at and remained confused. _They just left a few minutes ago. Ten minutes at the most, right?_

"The question here Robin is what are _you _doing? I am not the one prepared to attack their fellow teammate and friend." Robin's eyes widened behind his mask and pulled away his staff as he blushed and cleared his throat.

"Heh, sorry about that. I thought you were an intruder." Robin held out his hand down towards Starfire which she accepted. He helped her up but their hands were still locked together. It wasn't until Starfire gasped, bulged her eyes out of their sockets, and pulled her hand back to her when Robin realized what they were doing. It wasn't anything major, just holding hands, but by the look on Starfire's face showed that she was scared.

"Uh, sorry." His hand that was once filled with Starfire's went up to the back of his neck which he started to rub. Starfire's eyes had shrunk back to their normal size but she still seemed aware of something. Almost like she was waiting for the conversation between the two to end.

"No worries. I am sorry Robin but I must leave." She quickly walked around him and almost left the room, that is, until Robin grabbed her left wrist.

"Are you okay Star?" Starfire stole a quick glance down at the hand that belonged to Robin. She despised herself for acting so guilty and she knew that she had to find a way to get out of there.

"Oh, yes I am fine. Thank you for asking. I merely…need to use the restroom! I came here to see if you were training and it looks as though I was correct! Now if you will excuse me, I must leave." Starfire gently pried the gloved hand off of her wrist as she backed out of the room giving Robin a believable grin. The doors closed in front of her after she stepped outside and ran to her room.

The door opened at her command and she look down the hall first-to make sure Robin hadn't followed after her-and once she was satisfied, she entered. Her back rested against the closed door as she had a slight panic attack.

"That was too close. I mustn't act out of the ordinary." Starfire took off her holographic rings which revealed her true self. She looked down at her scarred wrist and saw that the **scar** that was once there was barely noticeable. _Thank X'hal for permitting Tamaranians to be able to heal their bodies much faster than humans._

Her panting slowed and she looked around the room. There wasn't anything for her to do but grab her sweatshirt, but she decided to wait. It wasn't until her eyes landed on the desk, mainly on the bottom drawer.

"If I do it at this moment, then someone will surely notice. Perhaps I shall wait until later tonight." Starfire went over to her bed and glanced at the clock that told her it was four in the afternoon. _Time has gone quite fast._

A few minutes passed with Starfire's boredom overcoming her more and more. At last, she decided to speed up her healing process after stealing another looking at the fading scar. Therefore, she walked out of her room and went up to the roof. Thankfully, for her, no one was there. Just her and the sun.

She went to the edge of the roof and just stood there, soaking every inch of the light that radiated off of the star. The smile that was missing from her face soon enough returned. Whenever she was regaining energy, she would always enjoy the view that Earth gave to her. That was one of the things she loved about being on that planet. Beauty was everywhere, even if it wasn't obvious. You just had to look for it and it would be there.

She stood there for some time, until her stomach started to growl. Starfire groaned and looked down at her flat belly. She patted it and walked away from the view. But before her hand reached the knob on the door, Starfire turned her arm so that it was the wrist's side up. The scar was gone. She smiled and allowed herself to stay calm.

"I have not flown in some time. They may start to suspect me." She thought of a happy memory that involved Silkie, and let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding in. Starfire opened the door and flew down the stairway that would eventually lead to the common room after a few twists and turns.

* * *

**Something about this story is really starting to draw me to it. I wish I could make this chapter more exciting but since it pretty much only involved Robin's POV after they left. At least it was something right? I don't own anything but Warner Bros. and DC Comics do!**

**Always yours,**

**light is in the dark**

**P.S. Tell me if I left something out. I would very much like to fix it.**

* * *

**Weak**

A scar isn't a sign of weakness.

It shows that you stayed strong for everyone else for the entire day and waited until you were alone.

A scar isn't a sign of weakness.

It shows that you can't blame anyone else besides yourself.

A scar isn't a sign of weakness.

But it does show how close you are to dying.


	6. Chapter 6- Hungry

**Chapter 6**

**Hungry**

* * *

"Yo Star!" Cyborg had something in his hand that was above his hand. Beastboy was right next to him, jumping up and down trying to retrieve it.

"Give it back Cy!"

"Not 'til I get an answer from Starfire. Now be patient green bean!"

"But you already asked Robin and Raven!"

"And one more person wouldn't hurt." Cyborg used a calming voice but that only seemed to agitate Beastboy further.

"Please, what is it you wish to question me about?" Starfire was still aloft and started to fly over to Cyborg's hand, just to see if she could help out Beastboy. Tofu. Of course he was preventing Beastboy from getting his tofu.

"Star! Get me the tofu! Quick, before tinman hides it again!"

"Tinman? Oh, now there's no chance of you _ever _getting' this…this…poison ever again."

"Friends?" Starfire timidly spoke.

"Poison? I can't believe you just called my tofu poison!"

"Friends!" Starfire raised her voice.

"How could I not?! It's the truth and the truth hurts doesn't it? For example, your meat is murdering innocent animals. Animals I'm pretty sure I was!"

"FRIENDS!" Beastboy and Cyborg finally paid attention to Starfire and turned their heads.

"What Star? Oh! You wanna help me get back my tofu?" Starfire sharply exhaled and put two fingers on her temple. This was getting too tiring.

"Of course she doesn't! She's too smart to support that disgusting excuse for food." Knowing that they would start once again, Starfire interrupted their conversation once more before the arguing began.

"Enough!" She screamed louder than ever before and that seemed to have surprise everyone. Including Raven who had just entered with a pained expression.

"Woah Star, calm down." Beastboy raised his hands up to his shoulders in a sign that looked like he was making peace.

"Ya a'right lil lady?" Cyborg crossed his arms and took at small step towards Starfire.

"Normally yes, but I am tired of your constant arguing with Beastboy." Starfire turned to Beastboy and said, "Friend, you must understand that Cyborg is not a vegetarian and enjoys the meat. It has protein which I believe he needs based on his body size. Part of him may be mechanical," Starfire gave Cyborg a look that said 'I'm sorry' and Cyborg nodded his head showing his approval, "But that does not mean that he is still not human. From what I have learned, the human body requires the nutrients meat possesses which is what Cyborg needs."

"Ha! She got you good! Thanks Star!" Cyborg held up his hand in the air for Starfire to make contact with but she didn't. She only continued to look at him with an are-you-kidding-me look.

"I am not done friend. Cyborg, _you _must understand that Beastboy does not enjoy the meat. He becomes the animals that possess such nutrients and I can understand when he says that it bothers him. Imagine if you had turned into a…cow, let's presume. Imagine that you had turned into a cow and felt what it felt. You would understand all of its fears and strengths and would feel as though you _were _that animal. Then one day you could be taking a walk and would see one of your kind murdered by some…some…_monster, _who only wished to get what he desired." Starfire's voice faltered when she said monster because she knew that this was what she had been through. Yes, she was aware enough to change some parts but she prayed to X'hal that neither of the two boys noticed. But Cyborg and Beastboy weren't the only ones in the room. Apparently neither of them had noticed when Raven entered the room.

"So…you're on my side?" Beastboy's ears twitched lightly and one of his eyebrows raised itself.

"No friend I am not."

"Mine?" Cyborg questioned.

"Really guys? You both actually think that after that lecture she gave you about meat and tofu that she would take a side? She reasoned with you two and practically gave you an explanation to each other's emotions. And now you still think that she's 'taking someone's side?' Come on guys, think a little. Maybe not you Beastboy. It might be too much work." The look on Beastboy's face and Cyborg's laugh made Raven feel accomplished. Usually if she went a day without giving a sarcastic comment or comment of any kind of anyone, then she would feel incomplete. Raven knew that was terrible and so many times she tried to stop it, but all plans failed.

Starfire hadn't noticed Raven coming in until she spoke and felt terrible that she hadn't paid any attention to her presence. Once Raven looked her way, Starfire gave her a look that thanked her and Raven simply nodded.

A few small moments passed with Cyborg's laughter slowly dying down and Beastboy's face returning to normal. It started to get awkward and before Starfire could break the ice, Beastboy spoke up. "So Starfire, if you had to choose, and I mean _had to_ like it was a matter of life or death, then which food would you prefer? Meat or tofu?" Raven roller her eyes and floated over to the couch grabbing a book out of thin air that was covered with her magic.

"Truthfully, I prefer both. To me, they are nothing compared to Tamaran's fresh squeezed glorb and sputlinks but meat and tofu are both delicious to me. The meat has many options to accompany with it to eat and has a delicious flavor to it. Although, tofu is good for you and is quite tasty but you have not given it a chance. Therefore, I would rather die with neither of them than only have one."

Silence once again. Raven was getting annoyed at the lack of noise in the room. Well it didn't really bothered her as much as it bothered her that it only happened over a stupid reason. Seriously, who cared which was better? She didn't. But before she was going to speak up, Cyborg spoke up this time.

"So…tofu huh?" She looked over at him and saw that his eyes were fixed on the ground but his arms were crossed over his metal chest. She glanced at Beastboy and saw that he was in the exact same position.

"Yeah…you maybe wanna…try some?" Beastboy's eyes traveled up to meet Cyborg's face as he did the same.

"I dunno…maybe, if you try some of my meat I will." The once calm setting was replaced with Beastboy's yelling.

"Dude," Beastboy threw out his arms to his sides to exaggerate his point, "Do the words 'I'm a vegetarian' mean anything to you! I would rather bug Raven a million times before trying some of your meat!"

"Hey, I'm just a normal guy who thinks rationally before trying anything that looks like space goo!"

"Animal killer!"

"Space goo lover!"

Once again, the two boys started to argue but Raven didn't care this time. She sighed and closed her book before she flew over to the fridge. She set her feet down on the ground and opened the door, finding what she would be able to eat for that moment. Her eyes scanned the area until she could find two apples. Raven took them out with her magic and floated over to Starfire who was rubbing her temples and shaking her head at the two Titan's bickering.

Raven grabbed her apple and handed one to Starfire with her magic. Once she looked up, Starfire simply stared at the fruit. Then she turned her attention to Raven who was taking a bite of hers and looking at her expectantly. The apple was still encased in the magic but was only a few inches away from Starfire.

"_Fat…"_

_**Eat it Starfire. You are **_**hungry**_**, remember?**_

_I believe I have lost my appetite._

_**It is merely an apple. It is healthy and delicious. Please…**_

Starfire smiled lightly at Raven and shook her head, showing that she declined her offer. Raven stared at her for a small moment before shrugging. Starfire watched as she levitated away to the doors with the book following behind her that was covered with magic.

"Meat!"

"Tofu!" Starfire whipped her head back to where the argument was being held and was about to try to compromise once again but stopped when an apple was chucked at Beastboy's head. Starfire smiled as she knew who did that but when she turned around to meet Raven's face, she wasn't there. _Oh Raven. What a waste of nutrients._

* * *

**I honestly have no idea why I went with this chapter. I had a good idea for it but then I didn't want you guys to wait too long. I'm sorry that this seemed so random but there wasn't anything else that I could do. I may have rushed near the end but this is my story and partially life. I'm sorry if you don't like it but I'm going to go with it. It may lighten up in the future so hold on. Please review, follow, fav and all that other good stuff! I don't own anything but Warner Bros. and DC Comics do!**

**Always yours,**

**light is in the dark**

**P.S. Mom got mad and really annoyed me so no poem today. Sorry**


End file.
